Second Mother's Day

BACON!

The pictures today have nothing to do with the post.  We just had a really nice come through town and they brought us some bacon.  Thanks Bailey family and team!  Ben has only had bacon a few times in his life, but he thinks it's pretty great!

So I know that this is going to break your ethnocentric bubble, I know it did mine, but the whole world does not celebrate Mother's day when we do.  In our neck of the woods, they celebrate it in June.  Of course we know that they celebrate it on the wrong day, but at least they are trying, right?! ;) Hee hee!  Anyway, we had a volunteer team, which we loved, here on the American celebration day.  Getting up at 6:00 to cook them breakfast sort of put a damper on my day, except that I was really glad they were here.  All I ever really want for mother's day is to do nothing all day.  Apparently that is not how they celebrate here.  They usually have a special service here on that day, and by special, I mean LONG!  It is cute though, because all of the different groups usually do something special for their moms, either sing or say a poem or do a skit. 

This year, since we've started to make a bit more of an impression on people, we were in high demand.  Several different churches asked us to be there for their celebration.  I told the first one that asked that we'd be there.  They were so sweet to me sent someone to our house with the special fabric they'd chosen for the event.  Everyone is supposed to buy the same fabric and take it to have their outfit made however they would like.  A boring put important background fact is that I decided to try a new tailor.  I've had trouble finding someone that I like, that won't rip me off and that does good work.  I went to the women's meeting to get ready for the event.  Seems that I happened into a group of women that love to dance.  I tried to plead impairment due to my white skin.  I tried to show them my lack of ability and hoped they'd let me out of it.  Nothing worked. 

So when the big day arrived, I was supposed to show up at church at 6:30AM.  Mike left for Ghana at 5:30 AM, so it had already started out to be a bad day.  I think any day that starts before 7 is doomed!  So I was already up to fix breakfast and pack a lunch for the guys.  Just after they left Ben threw up and had diarrhea, thus confirming my pre 7AM theory.  I was pretty stuck, because they'd bought me this fabric and I'd given my word that I would be there.  What to do, what to do?  It was also raining and the first order of service was to march to church.  I figured I'd give it a little time.  I thought the march would be off and I'd just get there a little early for service.  We finally went on and got there about 7:30 because Ben seemed better.  I went armed with extra clothes and figured I'd just leave if we had trouble.  The taxi driver nearly killed us numerous times en route, and all I could think about was who would take care of the kids until Mike got back if I died and they didn't!  When we finally got to church and breathed a sigh of relief they said, "They've already left, you better hurry to catch up with them.  The rain really had stopped, so I figured the march must still be on.  Ben, Karis, myself and my new outfit hit the streets to find the ladies.  More background info here, I'd stopped to get my outfit Friday night only to find out the tailor "misunderstood" the date I needed it.  He completed the whole outfit sometime between 6 PM Friday and 5PM Saturday.  I tied Ben on my back and we found the ladies about a mile down the road headed towards the church with some drums and a trumpet.  They had their own little mini parade and marching band.  It all totally cracked me up, but when they saw us running in, they all cheered and quickly threw us into the front of the parade, not where I would want to be.  I also immediately realized we weren't marching to church, but dancing to church, also not my choice. We join in, although Karis was none too thrilled about the whole thing and mostly just walked.  Ben had fallen asleep on my back and on we went and danced all the way to church and passed it!  AAAGGH!  We danced on another mile and finally turned around and danced back.  We'd nearly made it and one of the ladies signaled to me that my skirt had come untied.  I knew it wasn't tied, but zipped and I could tell the zipper was zipped.  Ben had been walking the last little bit and so I thought my garments had gotten pulled out of whack when he got down.  Everything has to be just right on your body or you get fussed at here.  So I turned, while dancing and holding Ben's hand and got the lady behind me to help.  She quickly gasped and said, "The seam has come loose!"  I grabbed the extra yard, which I'd used to tie Ben on, and wrapped it around my waist.  I guess, in his hurry, my tailor failed to reinforce those seams!  You need to realize that 100s of people are lined along the road watching us all and me and the kids in particular.  One man had recently been taking a photo of me on his phone as we passed.  I can only imagine now what part of me was showing in that photo!!!

Yes, things could have been worse.  I was wearing tract shorts underneath my skirt, but I would never wear those in public!!  I was nearly too tired to get really upset as my whole body was aching at that point.  Once I covered myself with the extra fabric, it was really OK.  Women often wear that extra yard wrapped around their waist, so it wasn't super weird.  The worst part was that I knew I still had to make it through the service and I was whipped emotionally and physically at that point. 

Ben was glued to me all morning, which was OK.  He gives me confidence to act like a fool, and that helped.  I could pretend I was dancing with him and only him.  The circle dance I'd worried so much about didn't go so badly.  While we sing, we pair up and go into the middle of the circle to dance together by twos.  It turned out that we were so crowded in there that it would have been hard for outsiders to really see me.  That in itself is a neat thing to see.  I don't know if you've ever seen the old Cosby episode where Cosby takes Rudy to dance lessons and he and an old man have a sort of dance off in the waiting room.  It is something like that.  The two women must match one another and yet still sort of outdo one another while dancing at the same time.  My sweet partner had changed her dance to something simple we practiced together that I could do.  Later my partner went back in with another girl my age or younger that didn't have a partner where they proceeded to do a dance that they hadn't practiced that included hopping and landing in rhythm and strutting sort of like a chicken.  It was highly amazing and my partner was old enough to be my mom!

As we finally made it through a good portion of the service I began to relax and feel like we were in the home stretch when the worst thing possible happened.  As I'd danced and stood up and sat down and squatted down, I'd begun to feel the seam rip.  I could tell at this point it went down to nearly the back of my knees but I didn't know what to do about it and I was covered with the extra fabric wrapped around my waist.  By the time offering time came, Ben was asleep again, not only had he gotten up at 5 he'd been awake during the night too, so he was tired.  Offering requires us to all get up and march around the offering bag and drop in our money.  I grabbed Ben up and went to drop my money in.  EVERYONE gives offering EVERY Sunday, so this was not optional.  As I came back to my seat and sat down a lady hurried over to my said.  She leans in close and whispers, "Your skirt is ripped."  "I know," I respond, "that's why I have this fabric wrapped around my waist," I say as I reach down to indicate the fabric attached...  OH NO!  IT IS NOT ATTACHED!  Horror of all horrors.  Yes, it is nearly as bad to be in church half naked as it is in your nightmares!!!!!!!!!  I quickly wrap my fabric and exit the church.  I run off to a room with open windows to change my dumb skirt and wrap and TIE my extra cloth around my waist like a wrap skirt.  As I went back in to sit down, what else am I going to do since my children are in there, I assess the damage.  I begin to feel a little better as I realize I was sitting on the Mom side, so most of the guys were one the far side of the room.  Hopefully they didn't get a glimpse of my shame.  Then I realize there are about 50 kids packed along the wall closest to me and they are all usually watching me.  Oh well. 

We had one final dance, as if I hadn't been humiliated enough!!  My sweet friend hugs me at the end and tells me I was wonderful.  Fat chance, but I'm glad she was pleased anyway!

We got home around 1:30.  I was wasted.  My garments were so wet with sweat you could ring them out.  The humidity was horrible and the church doesn't have AC.  It probably was only around 85 that day, but that is plenty hot in those conditions.

Since my dad always said I had to get right back on the horse when I fell off, I had to return to the scene of the crime the very next day to teach a group of young men, which I pray did NOT see my fanny at church!!!!  Upon arrival, a few women were there and thanked me profusely for coming the day before.  Can you believe it?  They were so glad that I merely joined in with what they were doing.  I guess that made up for my bruised ego!

Ahh the joys of Africa!  Thanks, God, for keeping me humble.  I'm hoping just the memory of this moment will keep my pride in check for years to come so a repeat performance is not necessary.

Come see us!  We might even let you dance in church!
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